Waiting is Over (and other change)

Change, something I once welcomed with much enjoyment.  I loved change.  I looked forward to change.

A new job, the furniture moved, a new place to live, a new car, a new church, moving across country...welcomed it all without a fret.

Now, not so much.

I take comfort in the familiar.  My stomach turns with anxiety in the unfamiliar.

Do you remember how I felt back in July?  The inner turmoil?

The waiting is over.  The change is here.  I am welcoming it all with open arms apprehension, excitement, and anxiety.

I now have two kids in school.  I now have a fourth grader and kindergartener.  I cried the first day of school last week. I tweeted I sobbed.  I didn't.  Not on the outside.  On the inside.  On Thursday, the final day of the week, I was crying again.  Tears of Joy!  After all, it's not about me.  It's not about me missing out on going to the zoo, Toddler Tuesday, play dates, walking to the park, heading to the playland at Mickey Ds, or cuddling all day long.  No, it's not.  It's about my kids' desire to learn, explore, meet new friends, ride the big yellow bus, head out for recess, and have freedom from mama.  So, I accept, with enjoyment, this new season of life.

I now have a husband who is working AND going to school!  He is tutoring at the college, attending college AND working at our new/old church (I'll explain later) as the "Director of Children's Ministries" for the recovery group.  Amazing opportunity to give back to the very group which helped us through such a difficult time in our own lives!  Love how God orchestrates things.  Especially when He seeks you!  This doesn't bring a whole lot of change for me, but it's change for my family nonetheless.  I had my apprehensions.  I now accept with excitement! 

I now have a new/old church.  Aaron started attending our new/old church when he was two years old.  I started attending our new/old church when I was twenty-two years old.  It's where we both were "saved."  It's where we met.  It's where we were married.  It's where my son was dedicated to the Lord.  It's where God transformed me.  It's where God transformed my husband.  It's where I met two of my very best friends.  It's where we called home for many, many, years.  Then, we left.  We left for six years.  We left to embrace change.  Change was good.  However, God had another change He wanted for us.  So I waited.  We waited.  Knowing there was a stirring in our Spirit.  Knowing we were meant for so much more.  Not knowing what God had for us.  We waited.  Impatiently.  Quietly.  Withdrawn.  Waiting.  And then the phone call came.  Aaron was offered a part-time job at our new/old church with the recommendation of also attending there.  And so it came.  Change.  So, I sit this morning with anxiety twisting and turning in my abdomen for the new and comfort knowing we are headed home to the old. 

The waiting is over.